I’m not so sure it’s such a good idea to talk to me

Then say there is trouble, or there is too much going on

Or you’r’e scared of commitment because it may break you

Like you win something by guarding yourself

As if protecting yourself is the safest option

Well it is of course, because it hurts when it matters

it feels like sickness through your bones when all your membranes

shatter

and it only hurts equally as much as it gave you feeling and worth and will

and nourishment and the wound is now only as deep as it was once was wide; it only kills you as much as it once fulfilled you inside

And this game we win by guarding ourselves;

not letting anyone in; if we opt out before it hurts us; then we are out on top

Well I don’t want to win that game

By following the safest option

I want to feel everything with all that its got

The total depth; the inexplainable; I want nothing less

I want to be so shattered that at the end of my life

There is nothing left