It's Been my Dream to watch you Burn From the Inside Out

Let's set ourselves on fire.
I'll take the sparkle right out of your eyes,
If your heart remembers to beat tonight
I'll douse you in the prettiest gasoline
It's been my dream
To watch you burn from the inside out
You force fed me your poison
I inhaled it straight from your mouth
I want to forget you were ever here,
at any time...
Erase you forever from my mind

'cause it's been so long since I have bled.
Since I inhaled air. Or felt the skin thats on my cheeks
And shut my eyes to make them wet.
You said I was pretty dead.
But I don't feel that beautiful,
what happened to those nights we said
...we'd love eachother forever.

This walls are drinking us in
The sky, watching over
It'll rain on my parade.
It'll re-lite all this pain

I know it'll break your heart.
To see what I have down
It took the life out of me
To sew your lips right up

I'll put my hand over your soul
I'll make sure you're all warm
...I just can't take your heart anymore
You'll take mine to the grave
...I just can't take you anymore
This murder. This Life. It's you.
I love.
I hate.

Pass it to me. Quick.
Words are starting to run through me.
A voice I pushed to the back of my mind
That tells me to slow down.
"This poison is not nice!"

im fucking insane.

The Monster is Eating my Dreams

So what if once I used to have dreams?
It was only silly lipgloss I used to bleed.
Now it all runs deep.
My pain. This prison I have locked myself into.
I scream, this monster inside
My captor.
I'm hostage to a liquid.
A monster full of sex. Love. Passion. Happiness.
This monster
With an awful comedown. A tight bandage mark
Scars my once tender arm.
Now so full, of purple scabs.

I cant find room anymore.
My whole body is one huge sore.
Every piece of my skin has been jabbed
Every inch of my soul has been eaten up

This monster hides under my bed
As soon as I shut my lids he stares
He calls. He sends this chill through my veins
And once again, the syringe calls my name.

So what if once I was full of dreams?
I lost them when I gave myself this jab.
It gave me more hope and feeling
Then life could ever have.

And maybe it's the heroin talking.
It must be.
Cause once.
I was full of dreams.

So, you want to make a memory?
I suppose if memories remained in my mind
And weren't lost under light filled skies
On those nights I sat alone
And stuck the needle right to the bone
Then I was joined
By a strange semblance of happiness.
I promised. Made so many promises.
.."last time. last time. last time"
I replayed this scene on and on in my mind
Where I could dream, sleep, breathe.
Without the help of this sharp.
That forever, forever has a hold of my heart.

I guess I could make a memory
If I lived off my own air.

Hear the Victrola
Lost in the attic. Haunted by the shadows
The shadows of who we used to be
Lost in some section of our memories
They told us love would tear us apart
But now we know.
It was never our love for eachother
It's our love for the drugs.

And remember ..if you can
How we would lie on the bench
Taking turns to inject
The colourful poison.
The vengeful poison.
The nourishment of my heart.
Kept it beating.
Beating.

Can you hear our footsteps
When we were young
When the only high we knew
Was love?
We were so innocent
Not scarred by time
And now. We are
No longer divine.

I remember your bright complexion
And pretty blue eyes
Now their lost
In a world of deceit, sleep and lies.

Because it takes me 50 hits
Before I can breathe
It takes a dozen pills
And a line before I can believe

And I'd be living a fantasy world
If I ever thought
I could break free
Maybe its the drugs talking for me
But I think it's true
It's a new me.
And it's a whole new you.

Survivor.

I'm hanging by my noose. Spinning the hours away
Dread is, sleeping, or passing out sounds more like me
Wondering if.
Your heart will beat the night through.

And when my eyes aren't shaking enough to read
I go through magazines. I want to live like what I see.
If only I could.
Wake. Clean. Work.
It's now.
Unconcious. Shot. Dirty. Shot.
Get all the junk dropped off.


I want to love you.
You feed my dreams
Keep nourishing my veins
You're the only life in me.

I want to scream.
Quit robbing me!
Stop invading my veins
You're killing me

And now the winds blowing
And my noose wraps tighter
I could never call myself
a 'heroin survivor'